Conquer Fear — 4 easy steps to getting “back on the horse”
photography by Dave Russell
Fear… It happens to everyone. Your horse spooks at a trash can, you miss the spacing on a jump, you lose your balance in the canter or maybe you even fall–and suddenly the thought of throwing your leg back over the saddle makes your stomach flip.
At some point, something will scare you about riding. Maybe you started out scared or maybe something spooked you after you got started. I’d never been afraid of anything until my horse and I completely crashed through a 3’ 9” jump before a competition–and I mean we took out all eight poles and both standards–and suddenly even warmup fences seemed insurmountable. It doesn’t matter where the fear snuck in. The trick is to first recognize the feeling, next control it, then plan out your actions and finally just go for it!
There is nothing wrong with being afraid. The more you try to pretend you aren’t or the more you punish yourself for feeling that fear, the harder it will be to honestly address the issue. Or worse, you’ll do something you’re not ready to do just to “prove” you’re not scared. My infamous crash happened right before I was supposed to compete. I’d been training Noah for four years and although every warmup fence after that crash was terrible, because we were both so shaken, I thought it would be “chickening out” to forfeit the competition. So we tried anyway. Noah refused to jump the fourth fence and we narrowly avoided getting seriously hurt. I should have recognized that we were not ready to take on that course after our accident, but I was too embarrassed to admit my fear. You don’t have to make this mistake–be brave enough to listen to yourself and your horse. Be brave enough to know you’re not ready!
Fear is an emotion. It doesn’t have to be an action. If a newspaper blows into the arena and your horse jumps three feet sideways, you might be scared. You can scream and grab at your horse or you can sit tall and quietly bring your horse back to attention. Being afraid doesn’t have to dictate which action you take.
Horses can feel what you do, and since most of the time our bodies directly reflect what we feel, horses can usually feel your emotions. If you are tense or afraid, you’ll squeeze them with your legs and jerk on the reins. This just makes the poor horse as nervous and jumpy as you! Luckily, horses read bodies, not minds. So even if you are afraid, relax. Take deep, slow breaths. Soften your legs. If you relax, you’ll find that not only does the horse stay calm, but you’ll be able to ride and react much better.
If a particular situation is scaring you, such as cantering or jumping, see if you can break it down into smaller steps. For me, I went back to cross rails. Noah and I jumped one-foot high jumps until both of us felt calm and fearless. Then we slowly moved back up until we could jump 3’9” again. If we struggled at all, we simply moved back down to a smaller jump until we regained our confidence.
At the end of the day, many things seem much scarier than they actually are, especially if you’ve never done them before. Riding without a saddle might sound terrifying. But you could try it with an instructor on a nice, calm pony. You can break anything down into steps, and then you’ll just have to take the first one. First steps can be like bogeymen; they seem big and scary but when you check out the closet, you realize there’s nothing in there. So sometimes you just have to go for it!
Managing fear:
1. Don’t be afraid to admit you’re afraid!
2. Instead of panicking, think and act.
3. Take small steps, and only move on when you feel confident and ready.
4. Take on the bogeyman!
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Comments on Conquer Fear — 4 easy steps to getting “back on the horse”
Great tips. So many riders get paralyzed by fear and it’s more common than many may think. Another tip is to ask for help from someone who will help. Being told ‘it’s all in your head’ isn’t helpful, unless you can offer help to ‘get it out of your head’. Tip number 3 is essential. Take small steps to confidence.
Thanks so much, Katherine! I completely agree–fear never goes away just because someone tells you to stop being scared.
Hey Ali, thanks so much for putting together this great website! Your tips on conquering fear are right on. With regard to new riders (or more seasoned riders on new horses) who have some anxiety, one exercise I’ve found extremely helpful sharing is the one rein halt. Learning that simple maneuver (grabbing either the left or right rein half way down and pulling the horse’s nose towards one’s knee as gently as the situation will allow) gives rider’s confidence that they can stop their horse no matter what. That “emergency brake concept” lets them relax a bit more and enjoy the ride. Keep up the great work!
Ali
I live in cyprus and go riding at a near by stable, i ride a mare called Alison and she is great but no horse is perfect, the problem with Alison is that every time i take her out for a hack with my friends at the stable she always bends down to eat and in cyprus in the winter every were you go there is grass, grass and more grass, so do you know any tips to stop her from going down to eat all the time i’ve fallen of her enough times from this and by the way i am only 12 so nothing to hard please!
thanks!!!
Paige
@Paige: No worries, Paige! This is a common problem with many girls and their ponies. One easy way to give you a leg up is something called “daisy reins” or “grass reins.” You can buy them at a tack shop, but you can also make them yourself cheaply out of a few two-headed clips and some bailing twine. Here are a few pictures of daisy reins: http://www.melianpetsupplies.co.uk/images/4260daisy-rein.jpg
and grass reins: http://www.robinsonsequestrian.co.uk/prod_images/AerbornGrassReinsM.jpg
I’d definitely recommend trying them out! Make sure you put them tight enough they kick in before your pony can reach the grass, but not so tight that your pony can’t move out comfortably. Get some help in fitting them properly.
Good luck!
-Ali
Ali,
HELP!!I am scared to death of cantering. I have cantered a few strides on my 5 year old bay Thoroughbred off the track mare(Rosie, My baby!) before, but that was after every experience cantering i had was right before i fell off.
Once, i was riding my mom’s 18-year old chestnut TB/Hanoverian cross(hes the chestnut!, Felix), and he couldn’t see his 30 yo mother, so he broke into a canter, bucked, and of course, Me, being 10(I’m 11 now), came off, landed on the hard ground, sprained my back, was forced to go to Physical Therapy, and for months after that, I couldn’t ride! I was walking so bad, I had to swing my hip to walk, and my gym teacher didn’t believe me(!), so she said “there is nothing wrong with her… she’s just trying to get out of working… she should quit riding if she can’t perform in gym.”
Ugh. I am now back to riding, after multiple equine injuries (Felix’s abcess that lasted 8 weeks, Rosie’s hock injury on both sides, still being healed but not effecting her(front+back)), I am trail riding, but want to get back into the arena to jump, but I can’t bring myself to cantering!! Rosie would NEVER try to hurt me, and i know that, but I just can’t bring the crop back and signal her. Trust me, I’ve tried, but i can’t! I’m too darn afraid!
-Sam
I totally understand! Falling off badly, especially if you get hurt, is NO fun and very scary! I’ve had a similar experience with a bad crash over a really big jump–I didn’t want to ask Noah to jump again because I was too afraid. So, first, love yourself and be totally okay with the fact that you’re afraid. There’s nothing wrong with it!
One way you could help ease yourself into cantering would be to have someone experienced put Rosie on a lunge line with you on her, and then they can ask her to canter for you. You can just sit there and hold on and relax. You can start with just a few strides and work on up. You can keep doing this until you feel comfortable to ask on your own, which you can do for the first time on the lunge line as well. Just take it nice and easy, and don’t do more than you think you can. But have faith in yourself :D You can do it!
-Ali
@Ali: Thank You So Much Ali!! I am feeling more and more confident by the day, and will start cantering on the lunge soon! I plan to go to a local show in September! It will be walk/trot, because at the show, you can do walk/trot or over fences, but not both!(I will do cross rails in the warm-up ring, he he!)
Whinnies,
Sam and Rosie!
Ali,
i am 12 years old and just wanted to say thanks soo much for all of your videos you put up. i have been taking lessons (western style :) ) for about a year now and i have finally convinced my mom that i will stick with horse back riding. sooo last sunday i got to ride my friends horse at the barn that is for sale. Her name is juliet and she does barrels and poles.I am going to continue to ride her and see if she is the horse for me :) your videos are very helpfull and i just wanted to let u know that your videos are helping me learn about horse care better than any other videos ive watched. i hope to buy a horse and start competing.the only problem is i havent galloped before and i am a little nervous about it …. any tips?
P.S. noah is beautiful :)
Galloping really is just a fast canter. So if you are confident in your canter seat, you’ll be fine galloping! Remember, stay relaxed. If you get nervous and tense up, you just make it harder for yourself to ride ;) The first time you want to gallop, ride in a safe area, and definitely with someone. If at all possible, try it in a big fenced field–that way, your horse can’t really go anywhere if he gets any funky ideas. Just try at first going from the canter up into a gallop for a few strides, and back down again. Before long, you’ll only want to gallop ;)
-Ali
I was jumping my pony, Now shes a really good jumper but i was jumping about 90cms with her she got it fine 1st time round but 2nd time round her striding was all worng but too late to fix. She brought the jump up with her and fell and i went flying over the top of her. We were both fine just a few scratches (it couldve been so much worse!). anyway i got stragt back on and reduced the jump sizes and she eventually went over them with no hesitation.
im now worried about jumping 90cms+ with her
Of course! It’s very scary to take a spill like that. Good for you for getting back on and trying it again!!! First give yourself some credit for that :D And then just give yourself some time and lots of practice over little jumps until you both feel comfortable again. There’s no rush to get back up to 90cm. Just go for it when you feel ready.
-Ali
I just took a lesson yesterday 11/16/11 and i was so nerves when we starting trotting/cantering. then i relaxed in the seat i thought it was a very bumpy ride. I didnt remember it being so hard. (this is my first time riding in a arena galloping in 6 years) But now i cant wate for my next lesson. I cant wate to get running again! Gus looks alot like Noah but alot older. Gus ( the horse i ride ) is 25 when i ride i have to put three pads on him.
Love the Picture Ali but where is your helmet??? Hehe
-Lynda x.
Haha good point ;) I’ve been known occasionally not to take my own advice…
-Ali
One of my friends now go to a different riding school and now she’s cantering straight away and jumping now and she said to me that when you canter it feels like your going in slow motion and so does my other friend who can also canter and jump. But the thing is, is that I’m worried that I won’t be able to keep my heels down and I won’t be able to keep my feet in the stirrups and I’m worried that I might fall of again like when I did from trotting. I know this may not be the right category for the defeating your fears page in a way but do you know any way I could remind myself of keeping my heels down in canter so I don’t fall of like in trot? Thanks xx
Doing lots of practice at the trot, especially in two point and sitting trot, will help you learn to keep your heels down. Riding without stirrups is also a very good way to practice having long legs in the saddle. Don’t canter until you feel ready for it ;)
-Ali
Hey :) thanks for the advice:D when I was riding today and I was riding without stirrups over poles, I was meant to be trotting but the pony I was on started cantering but I remembered to make sure I keep my heels down as I was walking for quite a while before going over the poles which helped to remember a bit more:) thanks xx
@Ellie: That’s great!! That’s what practice is all about :D
-Ali
;aha,yeah:)
I am an over 50 woman and have developed a fear of horses. I have had many horses (just for pleasure riding) over the years with no problems until a few years ago. I had a mare that got in to a violent altercation with an older mare and the older mare was killed. I sold the mare immediately and have avoided horses since. Lately I have been wanting to get another horse so I went to the neighbor’s horse to see how I felt. He’s a beautiful gelding and very friendly and I was petting him over the fence and when he raised his head I immediately thought he was going to bite me – he didn’t. This made me realize that I was not ready for a horse. I would really like to get over this fear and get another horse. I would get a 20 year old “bomb proof” gelding. My husband is supportive but travels a lot so all the horse care would fall on me – alone. Your thoughts please!
It’s totally normal and understandable to have these sorts of reactions after a disturbing event. You’re also right that it won’t work for you to have those sorts of reactions all the time around horses if you want to own your own horse and care for it. My recommendation would be to find a friend (maybe your neighbor?) who has a nice, gentle, calm horse and just start slowly. Go and spend 15 minutes just hanging out around the horse when someone else is grooming him. This way you can just observe what he does and how he reacts to the person grooming him. Do this until you feel safe and comfortable around him. Then you can try grooming him a little, with your friend around. Just take little steps, and don’t take the next one until you’re happy and comfortable. And if something scares you or you have a bad reaction, just step backwards to the previous step. There’s no rush to get your own horse–it will happen exactly when it’s supposed to ;) Good luck and keep on with it! You’ll get there, don’t worry.
-Ali
Thanks Ali. Felt good to put it in writing. Good advise, I’ll keep you posted!