All I want for Christmas is a pony…
“I really want a horse but my mom/dad doesn’t want to get me one. How do I convince them to get me a pony?”
I think this question is one of the most common I get on my website. So today’s blog is all about answering it! First, let me just say that I know ALL about really, really, REALLY wanting a horse. I’ve been there. That said, I also understand the concern parents might have about getting their child a horse of his or her own.
As a child asking your parents for a horse, you need to remember what I said in the “Horse care, beware!” blog (maybe go back and read it if you haven’t). Horses are expensive, time-consuming, even potentially dangerous. In addition, how do your parents know that tomorrow you won’t wake up and decide that now you’re into tennis–or dancing, or art, or swimming–instead of horses?
So, if you really want to convince your parents to get you a horse, you need to do the following things (Of course, these pointers also apply if you just want to take riding lessons or work at a barn and your parents still aren’t interested):
1. Find out exactly why they don’t want to get you a horse. Is it because it’s too expensive? Is it because they are worried you won’t take good care of it? Is it because you have never even ridden before and they aren’t convinced that you’ll stick with riding? Is it because they are worried you will get injured? It’s really important when you ask your parents why, that you listen very closely and without any eye-rolling or arguing or sighing. You have to actually hear what they are saying–they want to be understood just as much as you do. Parents reading this, make sure you are honest and open with your child when he or she approaches you. Don’t be afraid to really discuss the concerns you have!
2. Once you know what their concerns are, find out ways to address those concerns. If the concern is money, brainstorm some ideas of how you could earn some money to help out. Or consider leasing a horse first (much less expensive than owning your own horse). If the concern is safety, look at safety gear together (liking riding vests) and talk about what things you could all do to minimize the risk involved with riding. If it’s because they aren’t sure you’ll stick with riding, make an agreement on how long you would need to take lessons before they will reconsider getting a horse–maybe weekly lessons for two years? Stay calm and honestly look at their concerns. Parents, you can help out this process by considering why your son or daughter wants so badly to be involved with horses, and what you would need to feel comfortable with the idea.
3. Consider taking it in steps. Instead of starting out asking for a horse, start with asking for weekly riding lessons. If these go well, and you are still interested, then you can talk with your parents about leasing a horse. If the lease goes well, then you can move onto buying a horse. In this way, you’ll show your parents how you are able to care for a horse and are committed to owning your own horse. For parents, be open to talking about possible compromises, like leasing. Clearly, this subject is important to your child. And here’s a chance for great lessons on planning, negotiation, responsibility, creativity and initiative!
Kids, remember that your parents aren’t just out to make your lives miserable by refusing to get you a horse. They want what’s best for you, and sometimes they just aren’t able to get you everything you want just because you want it. That doesn’t mean they don’t want you to be happy! If you work with them, often you’ll be surprised at what you can achieve together. So good luck, and here’s to a fabulous cooperation between children and their parents–and lots of happy ponies!
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Comments on All I want for Christmas is a pony…
Ali
I really want a horse and I am going to try hard at these steps. Thanks a bunch!
Also could you possibly go over a basic show needs for jumping or dressage( like clothing , tack, ect.) mabey? I would really apriscate it! PS I love the blue pony!
From,
Sydney
I was taking lessons 1-2 times per week for 4 whole years before my parents would even consider a part-board! It was only when my FAVOURITE horse that ive ever riden went up for sale (i’ve ridden/trained TONS of horses in my life time) and we were offered a really good deal for him. I know have to work at the barn 3-4 days a week (mucking stalls, feeding, turn in/turn out etc…) and have a part-boarder to be able to have him. My advice stick to it if its something you love and use the tips Ali gave you :) Buy used items (saddle, bridle, breeches, polos, whips, boots, etc…) to be able to cut costs down. Horse ownership is something I love, but its not right for everybody.
Emily
i really want to help around my local stables where i have riding lessons [Parklands,Aston] i go riding every other week and the most work i get to do is hang the stirrups up and the gireth…but i want to help out more …like,groom chandler [the horse i ride] after im done and untack him…But how do i ask??? :)
Never give up on your desire to own a horse. My parents could not or would not consider it, so I took lessons and rode friends’ horses until I had the money (and the time) to buy my own. I didn’t realize my dream until I was 64 years old! I love my chestnut thoroughbred: he’s my friend, therapist, personal fitness trainer . . . and everything I’d dreamed he’d be when I was a girl.
What a great story–thanks for sharing! Dreams are worth dreaming until the time is right for them to become reality. And way to go for making your own dream come true, rather than giving up because other people wouldn’t do it for you. You are an inspiration.
Ali
Thanks for this I ride every other week and adore it and I’m also in pony club so when I start competeing i’m definetly trying these steps! :)Thanks again Bex -x-
Just go for it ;) Be polite and clear in what you want, and in why you think it would be good for the stable to have you help out with those things. If you can show that the stables benefit as much as you do, they’ll say yes.
-Ali
i need more help! my parents let me help around the yard but wont give me weekly lessons, they say when the time is right and when im a bit more advanced they might consider but how do i convince them more
Gabs
I realy want a horse and have been asking for years i maniged to get lessons but i dont now how to win them over. my mum thinks they are dangeris but i love them
I am not old enough to have a job. My parents won’t get me a horse because of money and they think it’s too expensive, does anybody know a way to make money when your under 15? I have been riding and have been caring for horses for 10 years and I have wanted one for 7 years. :(
@Gabby Mills: Hi Gabby, my advice might not be what you need or wanted but I thought I might give some tips. I know how hard it is to not be able to ride as much as you want and I hope that you get to do some more. Maybe ask your parents if you can have a lesson every two or three weeks for a few months, than gradually suggest the idea of a weekly lesson. Dicuss with your parents why they think that the right time is not now and see how it goes.
I hope that you have not been offended by my input as I only wish to help.
Good luck!
As I’ve sadly had to say to many people, if you are young and your parents don’t want you to get a horse, there’s not really a lot you can do about it other than wait until you’re old enough to do it yourself! Just keep getting as much horse experience as you can, and opportunities will start showing up all over the place ;) My grandpa used to say that something worth having was worth waiting for. I know it’s rough having to wait, but it just means it will be that much better when you can go out and do it for yourself!
-Ali
hi ive always wanted a horse and i always pestered my mum and dad to let me have one. they kept saying no, obviously! but when i had given up all hope on them even leasing one and started to be responsable, a couple weeks later i got one!!!!!! my point is be responsable and you’ll get it. Also be patient xx my advice probs wont be useful but oh well xx
Awesome advice, thanks for sharing your story :)
-Ali
I asked my mum, if i could buy a horse she said, in a year or two, and when you are mroe advanced and most specially, be responsibe wakeup early every morning, visit him, groom him etc. Anyway im very exited;D
P.S All it takes is to be responsible.
hi Ali! I love watching your video’s, they’ve helped me so much!!! ive always wanted a horse and now im one step closer, my mum is considering a lease :D
@Maddy B: thanks for the tip, in march my mum said i could have riding lessons every other week, and now im doing jumping in my lessons…she is starting to think about giving me lessons every week as i am getting better at my riding. and the horse that i ride [chandler] i ma starting too take care of more then i used too so thankyou for the advise
Glad to hear it :D
-Ali
im 13 and i have ridden for over a year and ridden 3 different horses that range from 14hh to 17hh and just last week one of my dreams came true, i did my first jump..it was small and i did it in a trot but still it was a jump. i did it on a 15hh paint gelding that i have ridden for the past few months. i have been wanting a lease for a while so i can ride more than once a week and when i did the first jump i finnaly realized this is what i love and i really want to compete and learn more. before i started riding my friend and i were looking into getting a horse now i realize we had NO idea what the heck we were doing and we were looking at untrained yearlings. i look back now and think about what the heck i could have gotten myself into because i know i need an older more experienced horse. apparently my sister wants to ride now and my mom thinks it would make more sense to get a horse so we can just take lessons on the horse instead of paying 400 dollars a month to take lessons for both of us. i found a boarding place near us but im not sure if it has what i need and it costs 600 a month but its the only one within 30 minutes of my house so i don’t want to waist money. any suggestions? and also what breed should i look into and what gender some people say geldings and some say mares
Thanks for your message! I think these blogs will help you:
-Ali